GrantFaber.net – John 3:16 | Thanks Be to God.

Exorcising With My Wife

An earlier version of this post included sarcasm that amounted to an outright fictional statement, a lie. I repent. I regret that some specimens of late have been a bit rough/tattered. I am poor, having lost my job at the Voco Fiorello Hotel/Aimbridge Hospitality for calling ICE about undocumented migrants in their employ, and then I was again fired from the Garden City Hotel for calling local PD about all your sexy death threats. You know, highly intelligent people (like us) …we are the ones most easily misled by the devil. Plus, for one reason or another, the left wing… read more

Did An Absolute (Precision) Paint Job

We’re by the sea/the sound, so there’s a lot of gulls, pigeons, and geese flocking around here. Still, I’ve never seen it completely front-to-back like this. I’m reminded of a few weeks back, when I fed warm pretzel bites to a couple of eager gooses. Either that, or they tried the vegetarian nachos (w/ green beans) at that spot next to Mystique. read more

C:\autoexec.bat -ktbaa

The one that started it all. Originally named, “KLB112485,” I changed it to the current title, back when I was still afraid of my estranged wife succeeding in her campaign to see me murdered, incarcerated, or institutionalized. No más. So many of our memories are tied to Her excellent taste in music, mostly mid-nineties alternative tunes. I didn’t want to forget them, so I began composing a playlist, which I presented to her for her birthday last year. As I ascended further into blissful madness, I realized that A LOT of the songs I play over my headphones tie back… read more

An American Empirical Film by Wes Anderson

Back in July of 2012, a week or so before I would move to the East Coast for the first time, I took a bus to Austin to see “Moonrise Kingdom” in one of their boutique cinemas. I thought about you, and I cried. Were you watching me, then, too? Have you seen this documentary on YouTube? I think it’s about you/us: read more

Carbage

Honey, I know y’all like to investigate things in the course of your Deep State duties over at PP+Plus. Hopefully, when you’re not busy shadow-stalking me cuz you love me soooo much, you can work on solving the mystery of all the mental patients who keep ditching their bio-hazardous cars on Westbury Ave. I counted at least three of them this morning. The owner of this vehicle apparently experienced a dryer fire in their basement, and, worse still, they only have SEVEN more days until their ambient-temp Lunchables expire: Hoarding Disorder is described in Section 300.3 (F42) of the DSM-5.… read more

This is how it all started…

Twenty years ago, in 2002, I fell in love and never fell out. We reconciled in 2004. I broke off contact in 2005, because I was too selfish, afraid, and stupid to maintain a long-distance relationship. We ping’ed in 2019, with a full-blown reconnect in 2023. I was in the midst of a psychiatric/spiritual/existential crisis. She helped me. Seemingly scorned and misreading my mind over the astral plane, she then tried to hurt me for my follies & transgressions in the past, but God intervened. I love you, My Darling Eternal.

Grant Faber

Local Crazy Person